what a beautiful day. mika enjoys days like these, where the weather is just right, the sun is high in the sky, and there's enough people for it to feel lively, but not yet crowded. her countenance is usually one that hardens with focus or downturns with scrutiny — not many see the softness under the calm surface, a gentle heart that eases under sigh of the sea breeze.
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and thankfully, no one can hear mika's true thoughts, either. the doubts she has (whether it's about herself or the state of the region) not to mention her parents, who she'll never fully feel separate from.
[break][break]
these thoughts deepen and stretch, drag and scatter. then, a familiar voice pulls her out of her stupor, sweet and sudden as the weight against mika's arm that yields to the force and, by instinct, brings the other closer to her side. "j-jules!" julie's words are a stopper at mimi's throat, whatever momentary exasperation the ranger had now being replaced by a spike of concern, a wave of deeper (familiar) intrigue. "is everything okay?"
[break][break]
then, a pause. mika takes in the sight of julie: stunning, brilliant, and bright as always. the same as always. or is she? "i didn't expect to see you here."

[break][break]

+ Julie Solette | hehe (:<

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ah. mika realizes a laugh and a breath too late that she's let julie hold on to her for too long. but as soon as she thinks that, there is a louder, more contested voice in the back of her head, insisting you wanted her to hold onto you, didn't you? [break][break]

afraid of answering herself either way, she lets julie stay, and more importantly, she drinks in the ichor of the julie's words — even her most playful cadence sounding sweet and sonorous in mika's ears. then when julie bops mika's nose, mika blinks, but ultimately lets a small, sedate smile appear on her face in response. not too excited, not too exasperated, just quiet and kind. [break][break]

just her. just mika, just julie. [break][break]

and the latter's unanswered inquiry does not go unnoticed, but mika half-knows the answer to it already. she's living it, herself. "i guess you have a point. but i'd wager that even without any ranger training, you're just as good out in the wild as any cadet." sometimes mika feels like their roles should have been reversed — that julie should have been the worldly adventurer getting into exciting scraps, while mika should have lived closer to people, that their presence might entice her to stay when she otherwise feels like leaving. [break][break]

sometimes, mika feels. and if she feels too much, she can't make sense of it, so she shoves all the unpleasant thoughts away for now, and focuses on julie. (not that that's hard for mika.) "yeah, sure we can. slateport is huge." she says this as they're practically sitting down already, but no big deal. they could all use some rest these days. [break][break]

"i have snacks." she fishes around her bag, but pauses to add on: "...and ruru would be happy to see you again, too."

[break][break]

+ Julie Solette | hehe (:<

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the easiness of julie's laugh reminds mika of when they were younger. they'd have moments just like this: talking sweet, sitting together, forgetting about the world around them. those days were bottled halcyon, starry but fragile. but not even the light of fantasy or hope could block out the darkness of reality from clouding the glass — the fractured memories of yesterday. [break][break]

that weight hangs on the edge of mika's words, try as they might to sound ambivalent in the moment. she wants to answer i'm not always prepared, but i try to be in response, but the truth is that no one is prepared for someone like julie solette to re-enter their lives. [break][break]

mika believes the distance they usually maintain is necessary, because if julie is no longer at arm's length, mika won't feel the need to draw her in closer. and closer. and maybe if they're close enough, they can pretend the distance was never there to begin with. [break][break]

but mika fears the truth. if it had been so easy to push julie solette away, why is she sitting with her right now? [break][break]

she doesn't answer herself right away: jules' hands feel soft against their skin, and mimi can almost hear the echoes of themselves, only a few short years prior. had it been that long already? "yes, she missed you a lot." and she's not the only one, though mika doesn't dare let that thought take up any more space in her mind than it should. [break][break]

instead, the ranger directs their attention to the baby grass-types before them. there's something sweet about the pokemons' playfulness and innocence. mika almost wishes she could see the world the same way they did — simple and sweet. "hi, ami. i swear you get bigger everytime i see you." she gently pats the top of the bounsweet's head as a greeting. [break][break]

then she summons ruru out to play, and the two fruit-like pokemon quickly jump and squeal together as they always do, though it doesn't take long for them to direct their attention to the humans, as well. "heh, i could say the same about ruru, y'know. i might have to pry her off you by the end of the day!"

[break][break]

+ Julie Solette | I CAN'T SLEEP THOUGH

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their pokemon are so excited, and mika relishes in that thoughtless happiness once more. things are different now between her and julie, this she knows. and yet, those incessant thoughts keep chasing mika and rearing their ugly head to her: what they had was beautiful and warm and affectionate, but it was also confusing and difficult and introspective. perhaps too introspective, and maybe if life had treated them both nicer, the separation of then and now wouldn't be so painful. [break][break]

but this is all in mika's head. none of their truth ever comes out (none of it ever does) when it matters most, and everything pares down to a sliver of emotion — passing glances, brief touches, the fleeting moments where they rush to cling to other aspects of normalcy, quick to move on but willing to ruminate, all the while. [break][break]

mika says, "swapping the two of them might be fun." ami and ruru love each other — and each other's trainer — enough that they could handle the change in environment. they might even find it fun, but as mika worries inwardly, julie mentions the worries aloud: ami isn't suited to a ranger's lifestyle, which is true. wandering can be fun and satisfying for energetic pokemon, sure, but they also run the risk of heading straight into dangers they're not prepared for. [break][break]

the ranger's next thoughts are interrupted by the sight of julie squishing ruru in her hands like some sort of doll. the cherry pokemon squeaks happily in response, and mika can't stop the smile from crossing her face. she glances at ami, in turn, and pats the bounsweet on the head multiple times over. (part of mika almost wants to humor everyone present and pick up ami, hold the pokemon close to her chest, and squish in up-and-down motions as opposed to julie's side-to-side squeezing. almost.) [break][break]

the playful jab that julie makes is not lost on mika, and the ranger huffs quietly in response — not quite stiffening, but not physically reciprocating julie's little nudge, either. she gives the other an inquisitive look, a slight edge of amusement to their voice. "i think it's more like...our energies are different." they know too much about each other, but who else can mika talk to like this? who else can ebb and flow with her; complement and contrast? who else? [break][break]

"but i agree. not the best idea in the end. sorry, girls." mika isn't sure how much of their conversation the two grass-types actually understood, but they clearly understand that a swap is not going to happen anytime soon. besides, who knows if julie will even meet mika like this again, and vice versa? [break][break]

"still...i'm glad." mika leans back into the bench, sighing. it takes a moment for her to finish her thought, amber gaze shifting like the setting sun in julie's direction. "...that you're doing well, i mean." of course, everyone could always be doing better, but julie's okay and her pokemon seem fine, and sometimes that's all one can ask for. [break][break]

"do you want any?" mika almost forgot to offer the snacks in question, having been distracted by cute pokemon and their antics. what she produces from her bag is a small tupperware container filled with grapes, strawberries, and sliced watermelon. followed by a bag of trail mix, which is then followed up by a couple bottles of water. [break][break]

always prepared, indeed.[break][break]

+ Julie Solette | my turn to not sleep either; insanity edition.

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they all say the same things in mika's head. [break][break]

don't look down when you're up high; don't stare into the void; don't look for the man behind the curtain. don't, don't, don't. what mika doesn't know won't hurt her, what she doesn't understand can't harm her. [break][break]

and yet... and yet, there is a weight to her and julie's interactions lately that have had this energy attached to it, lingering like spirits of their past, bright echoes that lure the unsuspecting towards something darker, heavier. they truly have to marvel at this new reality: a world where mika and julie know everything about each other, yet they also know nothing at all, hiding and morphing the parts of them that won't conform to the shape of the mask they favor. for mika, it's a hero's mask, brave and courageous, outspoken and fiery. it's the plumage of her talonflame, sora a million worlds braver and stronger than mika, but still willing to be led by her uncertain reins, nonetheless. it's fire-orange and sky-blue — it's the dawn sparking to life, the dusk fading to black. [break][break]

for mika, it's something that can be seen, that can be held. [break][break]

but for julie... "a trip to lavaridge?" mika repeats the words spoken just now, parsing through them like they're entirely foreign to her — a doppleganger on her lips. she casts the other woman a concerned look (with a tiny hint of curiosity, too, but mostly concern — irises an unyielding blaze that reflect the image of julie within, drinking her in despite every failed attempt to avoid familiarity), but doesn't outright deny the request when she asks, "...when?" it's not an automatic 'yes' to the question asked, but it's a way to probe deeper into the inquiry itself, and by proxy, the inquirer. [break][break]

yet mika says nothing as julie talks about the snacks, enervated by the sweet fruits and the pokemon around them. mika remembers julie's old habits well, and old memories overlap their current ones (a younger mimi chastising that jules should pack more than just granola bars, even if the trip is only a few hours in a day! and a younger jules laughing and saying that mimi always packs extra, anyway, so why bother? she always knew the right words, and the right time to say them). [break][break]

"...you make a fair point." and the trip to lavaridge can be dangerous. better to be at your side than not, the ranger thinks to themself with a nod. "i'll go with you. when are you free?" just then, ruru demands attention (and snacks) from her trainer, so mika temporarily looks away from julie, and to the cute little cherubi, instead. "alright, easy now, no need to gulp it down at once..." [break][break]

then she sits up straight, thinking back to what jules had just said. you don't need to thank me, her instinct says. "you're welcome," her mouth actually says. "it's nothing, really." it's the least i could do. "have some more." don't leave me. "you can take some with you for the road, too." [break][break]

+ Julie Solette | IMAGINE RESPONDING AT A NORMAL TIME AND/OR BEING NORMAL ABOUT THIS. I CAN'T (':

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sometimes mika wonders if they aren't fighting a losing battle. denying julie, returning to ranger duties, playing the part of a cold and logical ex-lover. the feelings for julie haven't disappeared or lessened over time — it's just been harder to acknowledge their existence, their place in mika's heart. [break][break]

because if she still loves julie, why does she keep her at arm's length? why does she play this song and dance of reluctance, when the answer is so loud and clear within? part of mika wonders if surviving hoenn's horrors hadn't left her crueler, somehow — that after glimpsing death, she'd forgotten how to truly enjoy life, in turn. [break][break]

and when julie says that mika is a lifesaver, mika almost wants to protest. you're the one who makes life brighter, mika thinks. julie had been the one to color mika's dull world in all sorts of colors when they first met. and even now, the ranger looks for her in everything, in the bright rosy pinks and golds of the world, in the shades of sunlight that warm mika to the bone. "it's nothing," they finally say. "and you're right. i'll call you when i'm free." [break][break]

which might be sooner than either of them imagine. if there's one person that mika can always make time for, it's julie. when she thinks of meeting up with her, no matter how far flung in the future that might be, mika doesn't struggle picking a time or place like she does for other people. she doesn't dread the occasion to come, accepting it like some sort of trick of fate. [break][break]

if anything, they're looking forward to this, despite their initial hesitation. when's the last time mika really enjoyed a day off, anyway? they're hard-pressed to remember. "hehe, as long as you and your pokemon enjoy them." she'll be just as ready for lavaridge, too. "you know, ami and ruru are getting so big. hard to believe how small they were when we first got them..." nostalgia tints their voice now, coloring it out to the edges. they've really spent years of their life together, in a way, haven't they? [break][break]

maybe there's still more years to come, after all. "don't worry, jules. you're not twisting my arm — it'll be fun and relaxing, after all." and they smile back at her, the slightest bit of relief filling their lungs at the sight of someone so beloved and familiar. regardless of what had happened to drive them apart, mika finds that the same charms and simple ways bring them back together, slowly but surely. [break][break]

same as always. [break][break]

+ Julie Solette | YURI TIME!!!!

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